Voicemails should be under 1 minute

I came to this startling revelation this morning.  The fact is folks, when you are talking to a machine...a message grabing device somewhere in the great void...aka, not a human being, there is no reason to talk incessantly. 
You cannot communicate information via voicemail.  It does not work.  It is a nice idea, I won't deny that, but noone can listen to a message and glean information for more than a minute.  It is like television with the commericals every 7 minutes.  Anything more and you are losing people.

And unlike most of my rants that embody the span of my xanga life, in regards to this post I am the chief of sinners.  I say this because this concept struck me as I hung up from leaving a voice message for my good and trust friend, Zachary Fay.  1:01.  Ouch!  I admit, I rambled.  Not good.  Guaranteed I might have said some good stuff, but Zach does not want to spend 1 minute+ listening to me jabber on.

So I say this as a warning.  Do not make the same mistake!  Voicemails exceeding 1 minute must be eliminated from human life as we know it.

Daniel Lynch!

You have contacted Regent University via the Subscription.

We have received your information. Thank you.

Here is a list of your entries.
----------------------
Form: Subscription
NAME: Daniel Lynch
HEARD FROM: Other
SUBSCRIBE: Daily
SUBSCRIBE: Weekly
SUBSCRIBE: Monthly

Currently Listening Closer By Josh Groban see related

"what do u have against josh groban?"

Where do I even begin?

There are several topics I've faced/ranted about over the course of my life that are novel-worthy.  You could say they are my notorious hot-button issues.  Groban, the Italian-imposter, curly-headed, beady-eyed, attention-craving, prima donna is one of them.

1)  I am not jealous of his voice.  I actually like most of the songs he sings.  (true, Ive been known to sing a Groban tune in jest on frequent occassion, mocking his unnecessary vibrato and sliding up and down the altitude), however, I will not pretend I do not own two of his cds.
The problem is I doubt he has ever written a song in his entire life.  Without knowing facts or bothering to look anything up, he sings other people's music, slaps a few together, puts his name on a cd, and sells it to his ridiculous and oblivious "fans." 
Obviously he is not the only singer to act in such a way.  I wouldn't call them musicians either.  They are voice-boxes.  Tools.  Give him a head of curly-hair and a fake Italian flag and girls between the ages of 9 and 90 are falling all over themselves.  Sick.  I doubt the fool can even read music.

2)  Everything he does is geared toward one thing...soaking up the attention from those oblivious, foolish women/girls.  Now, I know I am probably offending 52 % of the national population, but someone has to be the voice of reason.  The guy prances around on stage, flashing those beady-eyes loningly at every desperate face he can see.  It makes me sick.  These ladies should be spending their time on the planet of Reality, not crooning over some talentless wannabe pretending like anything they do or say will ever be of consequence to an invidivual living off vanity.  Honestly, I doubt he would even know what to do if a woman sincerely approached him as he is too busy humming someone else's love song and looking up into the stars!

Now, I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings...we all have our people we look up to, and who am I to question you for your interests? 
Everything about Josh Groban makes my skin crawl though, and I am never one to hide my issues when my core values are affected so strongly.

Ratatouille - Two Paws Up

"Come on, don't be so modest. You're a rat, for Pete's sake."